The Game That Never Should Have Been Invented

During my time in the first psychiatric hospital I was in, I noticed that the cleanliness of the ward left a lot to be desired. For one, I noticed a giant dust bunny beside my bed on the first night I was in that was still there when I was discharged, eight weeks later. A cleaner visited the ward everyday, but she generally just restocked the toilet roll and paper towels. About twice a week, she would mop some of the floors with disinfectant so strong that breathing became difficult and many eyes started watering.

Weight Gain and Medication

Two days before I was sectioned for the first time, I needed to buy some new trousers for work. The ones I was wearing were a UK size 10, but despite using a belt, they were far too big. The ones I found that I liked only properly fitted me in a UK size 6, but I decided not to buy them. I left the city centre, and made do with the trousers I had been wearing for work that night. It turned out that that night would be the last time I would work for a considerable length of time.

An Update

I realise I've neither blogged nor given a real update on how things are going with me for a while. Things have been a bit chaotic here but here's an update as to how I am.

Talking Therapies and Schizophrenia

A BBC News article has written about how talking therapies can be just as effective as medication for treating schizophrenia. This is exactly what I've been saying all along! The article, which can be found here, says that 4 in 10 patients find antipsychotic medication to be helpful, stating:

"The drugs do not work for the majority and they cause side-effects such as type 2 diabetes and weight gain."

In comparison, they state that talking therapies, "Worked in 46% of patients" but was only "available to less than 10% of patients in the UK with schizophrenia."

Assisted Suicide Story in the Psych Ward

WARNING: This post talks openly about suicide so please do not read if you are triggered at all by this topic.

Also, SPOILER ALERT: this talks about the plot of *that* Coronation Street episode so if you haven't watched it yet, don't read this just yet.

In the psych ward I'm in, there are three rooms where patients can access a television. One is in the main day area, one in the female quiet lounge and the third in the general quiet lounge. Last night, I was sat in the female quiet lounge talking to another patient when the night nurse walked in and told us that she was putting Coronation Street on in both of the quiet lounges and that it wouldn't be on in the main day area. I looked a bit puzzled so the nurse told me that there was an assisted suicide story on that night.

Half a Day in A and E

To those not from the UK, A and E is Accident and Emergency, also known as the Emergency Room in other countries. Also, there is talk of hospital and psych wards throughout this piece so if you are triggered by these topics, please leave the page now.

What's it Like to Hear Nasty Voices?

This blog post is about what it is like to hear nasty voices and may contain triggers. Some people hear voices which aren't nasty and they can have a positive experience with their voices. This is about the nasty voices though, which can make life extremely difficult.

Seven years ago at the age of 18, I started experiencing my first auditory hallucination. This voice seemed determined to get me to kill myself and the first few days and weeks were extremely difficult for me as I had struggled a lot with suicidal thoughts before it started. At the time, I was at college, and I was getting in trouble a lot because I wasn't doing enough work. However, this wasn't teenage rebellion or laziness, this was because I simply couldn't hear the tutor over the noise of the voice. My concentration was poor too, and I was easily distracted by what the voice was saying to me.