So Long Schizophrenia! My Final Blog Post Here

I’ve come to a big decision regarding this blog. Over the last two and a half years, I have written many blog posts about schizophrenia, hospital stays and my battles with mental health problems in the past and I believe I’ve written all there is for me to write on these topics. So I’m closing this blog.

Am I Being Given Placebos?

This is bordering on conspiracy theory territory and it may at first sound like I’m delusional. But hear me out before coming to any conclusions!

A New Video and Huffington Post

The last few days have been incredible. On Thursday, I was contacted by Huffington Post and asked if I would consent to them using one of my blog posts as part of their focus on schizophrenia for Mental Health Awareness Week. I told them they could use the 'A Day in the Life of a Paranoid Schizophrenic' blog post and it was published. The following day, it was on the front page and stayed there for over 36 hours! It's identical to the blog post on here but if you haven't read it, or just want to see it on Huff Post, the link is here.

Hello Depression, My Old Friend

You've come to torture me again...

Depression is something I have had an on-off relationship with since I was thirteen. And for the past six weeks or so, the relationship is back on. In simple terms, I'm depressed again.

A Day in the Life of a Paranoid Schizophrenic

It's 9:45 am when my mum comes into my room to wake me up. This is early for me. Despite my medication being quite sedating, I'm rarely asleep before 1 am. And because of the sedation, I need at least 10 hours sleep to be able to function properly all day. So I'm quite tired this morning. But I need to be up 'early' today, it's the day I go to the drop-in. I switch on my phone to check my emails. Nothing of interest. I manage to drag myself out of bed and go for a shower.

Whilst I'm in the shower, Dorothy starts talking to me. Dorothy is the voice I currently hear. Thankfully, she's also the only voice I hear at the moment. I've only been hearing her for a few months but she's very similar to other voices I've heard in the past - nasty. Dorothy tells me that satellites are watching me whilst I shower. It's not a pleasant thought, being watched in the shower, but I try and rationalise what she says by telling myself that even if satellites were watching me, they wouldn't be able to see me through the blind over the window.

Has Antipsychotic Medication Made Me Worse?

The first time I took psychotropic medication was when I was 18. I had been suffering with depression for about two years and I was finally given help in the form of a prescription for fluoxetine (Prozac). I was put on 20 mg and I found that it did nothing to me. It had no benefits and fortunately, I had no side effects. After a few months on it, I decided to stop taking it as I felt like I was wasting NHS resources taking something that did nothing to me.

My Story

My problems with my mental health started when I was 13. Not long after I started my third year of high school, I started suffering from depression. My problems worsened when I started being bullied, and this bullying lasted for three years. At 14, I started self-harming and just after this, I attempted suicide for the first time. Fortunately, the depression lifted after two years, but despite the improvement in my mental health, I couldn't cope with the bullying anymore. I decided to leave school after completing my GCSEs and instead of studying for A Levels, I opted to do an apprenticeship in computing.