When Intrusive Thoughts turn Problematic

*Trigger Warning* This blog post talks openly about suicidal thoughts and other matters that could be triggering so please don't read any further if you are likely to be affected.

Everybody gets intrusive thoughts. It's the content and intensity of them that can turn them into a symptom of mental illness. Intrusive thoughts are, like the name suggests, a thought that intrudes into a person's mind that wasn't initiated by them. For example, a person could be standing at the top of a flight of stairs about to descend, when the thought, "I'm going to trip and fall down the stairs!" pops into their head. This is a fairly typical intrusive thought and provided the thought doesn't persist to a point where the person is too afraid to walk down the stairs, this isn't a symptom of mental illness. It's just a fleeting thought that the person can dismiss easily.

Ten Things Not to Say to a Person with Schizophrenia

I've seen a few of these types of blog post around, for various mental health problems, so I thought I'd do one for schizophrenia. These are ten things I've heard from people that, although sometimes said to try and help, have been extremely unhelpful.

An Interview on Radio 2

This afternoon, I did an interview on BBC Radio 2 about my experiences of being sectioned. The interview stemmed from a news story about how mental health patients sometimes have to travel hundreds of miles to receive care. That story can be read in full here. In January of this year, I had to travel 60 miles as that was where the nearest bed was. However, for this interview, they wanted my experiences of being sectioned, something that has happened to me three times.

Back on Meds...

Those who have read my blog or Twitter recently will know that I came off my medication a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, things headed south quite quickly and as a result, I am now taking risperidone. I'm still gutted by this; I don't like medication and absolutely hate the side effects but I also hate feeling the way I am now. Plus, I'm only on a low dose (2mg) of risperidone so hopefully I won't get side effects. It feels like a negative thing to be back on meds but I'm desperately trying to tell myself that a low dose is no big deal.

A Third Interview on BBC Radio 5 Live

On Friday, I did another interview on Radio 5 Live about the effects bullying had on me. It was quite last minute and I was again quite nervous about doing it but once I got on air, my nerves eased. This is the recording of the full story. I come in at 1:57 and then again briefly at 7:00.

A Day of Improvements

Today has been a good day. This morning, I was finally able to drive for the first time in around three months and while I was a little bit rusty to start with, I soon started gaining confidence. I've probably done around sixty-odd miles today and I'm feeling confident enough to drive without my mum sat beside me like she did today.

The Game That Never Should Have Been Invented

During my time in the first psychiatric hospital I was in, I noticed that the cleanliness of the ward left a lot to be desired. For one, I noticed a giant dust bunny beside my bed on the first night I was in that was still there when I was discharged, eight weeks later. A cleaner visited the ward everyday, but she generally just restocked the toilet roll and paper towels. About twice a week, she would mop some of the floors with disinfectant so strong that breathing became difficult and many eyes started watering.